Thursday, September 29, 2016

Onward Hoe...

Just a friendly reminder for the butthurt babies sneaking in the back door (catch that..see what I did there? no? it was a pun, ya know, play on words with butthurt and back door...nevermind) that you are here by choice so anything you read here is because you picked to read it.  Any offense you take at my writing is because you're a twat that needs to get laid.

Moving on, I'm having issues with work.  Or rather, not with work but getting paid.  And work.  LOL I just have issues.  So...back in the middle of September I filmed a short clip, or the first half of it anyway, and due to either my phone being a piece of shit or the photographer and producer being flaky shitholes the second half never got filmed so here I sit, at the end of the month and I still haven't been paid for it or finished it.  Now...I don't live in a world where I can just say cool, I don't need to worry about that money, I'll just make some more because well, this is the person that was supposed to have been setting me up to film once a week or so but seems to keep flaking the fuck out.   Like for real, every time they say they're going to get me paid, or get something set up for me to get paid or me to film another clip, I just don't hear from them for a couple days and it's like they think I forgot or something.  It's not like I can forget I have people to feed and bills to pay ya know?  I don't know what world this person lives in but it's evidently not the kind where money is as hard to come by as it is in my world.



Why do people think I fucking work?  Because it's a sick thrill for me to show the world my naughty bits?  Nope, it's because I need the fucking money, why does everyone else work?  The thing is, I was handed this body that looks perfectly healthy but isn't.  So I can't seem to get disability no matter what I do short of hiring a lawyer that'll take most of the back pay in fees.  And what am I left with?  Not a body that can stand on it's feet or sit in a char for 8 hours.  I'm fucked lol.  So I do the job I'm qualified to do.  It's not glamorous, it's not cool, it doesn't make me feel cool, it doesn't make me feel great most of the time and frankly I'm goddamned tired of men thinking I'm stupid because of what I do. Or that all I'm here for is for them to use however they want, whenever they want and toss me aside when they're done.

So evidently, filming clips is getting me absolutely nowhere except not getting paid and getting my hopes up just to be made a fucking fool of over and over and still not be able to pay my bills.  So I signed up with a new cam company.  As soon as I get approved to cam with them, I will and I'll post about it and if it's different than cams.com is.  I can't imagine how it will be, all cam guys are the same.  Degrade you for a take home pay of maybe $3 an hour and maybe if you work 12 hours a day you can make $200 a week.  Yay.  It wasn't like it was an end all be all for work but filming clips should've gotten me enough money to achieve my eventual goal.  But fuck all if people don't fucking do what they say they're going to.  Or at least anyone involving these fucking clips lol.  it's driving me crazy.  And I was already fucked up.

I dunno, I just want enough.  I don't want to be rich, I don't want to have so much excess I don't know what to do with my money, I just want enough to not have to count pennies at the grocery store and not have to worry about my utilities getting cut off.

So until next time...
J

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