The myth of the perfect baby

Well, as much as it may embarrass him I have to admit that teenage boys STINK.  Like I don't even know how he stands himself.  The fucker is the hairiest kid I've ever seen since my brother was that age.  He is such a great guy that it's hard for me to find faults beyond the average teenage boy crap.  So my plan of attack is this...I'm going to make him some all natural deodorant that he can apply um, well, other places than just his armpits, since I'm pretty sure it's not just his armpits that stink.  Since I don't have much else to talk about today (bad pain day again :( )  I thought I'd share the recipe and when he's tried it for a few days, I'll post our "results" lol. 1/8 cup baking soda 1/8 cup cornstarch 2-3 tablespoons coconut oil 3-5 drops essential oil of your choice (I have lavender on hand so we'll use that) melt the coconut oil and mix together all ingredients.  you can use an old stick deodorant container to app...

  When I was pregnant with mr peanuts, I had every intention of exclusively cloth diapering the little fella.  So I ordered a "starter set" of pre folds and figured after the meconium stage was over I'd make the switch.  Well, I'd been gifted a shit ton of newborn pampers so I had to use those up.   Along about the time he was 8 weeks or so we were finally out of pampers so I got out the cloth to prep and prepped away.  I thought I knew what I was doing, I really did.  I was wrong.  From the get go I was unhappy with my choice, and more importantly HE was unhappy.  He almost immediately got a red butt because he pees about every 10 seconds and was ALWAYS wet.   I had only gotten 2 dozen so after the first day I realized diapering a newborn in cloth very well may not be cost efficient in Los Angeles county with the cost of water.  Anyway, moving on.  They were so fucking bulky, the poor kid couldn't close his legs at all and it r...

  Well, if you've read this far, not only will I say a big THANK YOU, but you probably know I'm a weirdo.  I'm also unhealthier than the average bear.  I'm having a bad day, and stress exacerbates any symptoms I have and frankly, I have a shit ton of stress lately (go figure).   Mr peanuts happens to be still teething, trying to cut that second bottom tooth out AND he's decided that baby jail is a no go for him.  He won't stay in a crib/playyard or walker/bouncer for more than about 10 minutes before he freaks out.  I'm not one for the whole cry it out deal, so when I  hear him cry I freak out too.    I'm down to my last pain pill and I hurt :( Lol I figure I can feel sorry for myself a little, I've had a bad week.  I'm still trying to recover from the fight I had with my damn near adult daughter over the stupid cat that shit on my bed...again.  Yes, you read that right, again.  Damn thing's done it twice before and normall...

  Well, it's another day, and really I wish that I could turn back the clock a bit.  My grandmother passed away on Weds, and I'm still in shock.  That situation was very strange, I don't even know where to begin.    My mom and step father had a very rocky marriage for the most part.  He dealt with some pretty major mental illness and my mom did the best she could but there were times he was off his meds and they could not be together.    One of those times about 10 or so years ago, she moved in with my Gram.  The house has been owned by my Gram since it was built in '62 so it's where my mom finished growing up.  My Gram could afford to live alone, but in the area we live, my mom couldn't find anything she could afford on her own so she moved in there.    Anyhoo...eventually, they got back together and she moved her husband in with them.  So it's my Gram's house, but my mom and step dad lived there as kind of like roo...

  After Memphis was born, I was tired all the time.  I couldn't get a handle on it at all.  I really figured it was just new born lack of sleep and nursing and all that good shit.  Well, it wasn't.  Around the middle of September or so I went in for my post partum echo (ultrasound of my heart to determine function).    The results were absolutely the opposite of what everyone had hoped.  I'd made it through the pregnancy just fine, but the stress of the delivery and recovery was too much for my body to handle.  I was in end stage heart failure with and ejection fraction of less than 20%.  I could not walk to the bathroom without being out of breath, but I had honestly thought I was just tired.     Never even crossed my mind that my ticker had gone so bad because I didn't feel much worse than I had at the start of my cardiac issues.  I needed a bi vent pacemaker put in.  I'll let you google that shit here because t...

  The drive to the hospital was surreal, traffic was light, we didn't talk much.  I have no idea what we listened to on the radio, in fact, all I really remember looking back is that I couldn't get my mind off of the little being I was getting ready to meet that day.  I was contracting mildly, in a very steady but not very painful rhythm.  At that point I wasn't worried about being in labor, I knew I had plenty of time.    We checked in really rather easily, there was no one in the waiting areas and within just a few minutes they had me in the back getting my admitting papers done.  A woman came to talk to me about cord blood banking.  We were extremely fortunate to be able to take advantage of a program they have in that hospital in which we could donate half and the other half they would store for us for free.  Otherwise, there is no way we could have afforded to bank it.  We took care of that paperwork too.  Because of my genet...