The myth of the perfect baby

Yep, you guessed it, I'm gonna talk about my ass again.  I wish it was back in the days when talking about my ass meant that it was a thousand men at once drooling over my bottom and telling me how great I looked.  Looked, past tense.  I don't think any of me looks that great any more.  For those of you not in the know, for a good long while I was an adult entertainer.  Of the webcam variety.  Like a stripper, but on a webcam and with "extras".  I'm sure a lot of you wouldn't be proud of that.  I'm sure a lot of you will actually think less of me now for even knowing it, but you know what?  I enjoyed the job.  It  was from home, in the comfort of my own bedroom, I made my own hours and I made some damn good money doing it.  My husband thought it was awesome because I was the kind of woman men paid to look at from afar.  I was the kind of woman even other women paid to view.  I was ranked pretty high on the paid sites ...

It's that time of year again.  All hallow's eve and I haven't written a post in way too long.  I've been having some personal issues.  Yes, again.  I know, I have them a lot.  I can't even begin to describe how hard the last few weeks has been at home.  Financial shit backing up again, the hubs and I constantly fighting, the kids running amuck.  It's just been about as crazy as I'd ever hope it to be, except I don't hope for it.  I want it to calm the hell down.  I'm having issues with my mom still too.  I love her, she's my mom, so of course I do, but HOLY JEEZ she's driving me up a wall.  My cat that I'd had since before Mac was born died in part because she was lactose intolerant and my mother REFUSED to stop giving her milk.  She basically crapped her guts out until she just died.  There was no point in taking her to the vet either, because we knew what it was and my mom still refused to believe it.  She'd stop wi...

First, I'm going to apologize the the Mesothelioma foundation and especially to Heather Von St James.  She had very graciously offered me the chance to write about National Mesothelioma Awareness day on September 26 and I dropped the ball.  Completely.  I got overwhelmed in my head and in my life and I just didn't do what I said I would do.  I'm so very sorry for that.  I'm not sure how to make up for it, but if anyone has any ideas, please leave a comment. I drop the ball on a lot of things.  I just do.  Obviously, that's not what I set out to do, it just happens more often than I'd like it to.  I suffer right along with everyone else when I've done it too.  I guess that's the universe's way of reminding me to get my shit together.  Which I still, at almost 40, have yet to do.  I've just never been good at the follow through.  I desperately WANT to make people happy, but no matter my intent, I don't meet those goals very of...

YEAH WELL I'M NOT. So get the fuck over it.  I'm flawed.  I'm notoriously flaky.  I cancel on appointments that make me nervous.  I do weird shit.  Sometimes? Sometimes I pull off sane and no one is the wiser, but for the most part, you just get to know me and realize I hide a lot, a lot of the time.  Most of it is for no good reason, I don't even know why I don't tell people some of it.  I guess I could have warned you this was one of those introspective blogs where I get all weird.  I'll probably post you some shit later in it that is entirely more fun, so don't despair, my Ativan will kick in. Moving on, I'm an appointment canceling queen.  Sometimes, it's not because I don't want to go, but sometimes it really is.  In my defense they were all non emergent appointments.  Not in my favor they were all for the little boys.  But here's the thing, there's that weird stigma about putting a leash on your kid and no matter how cute...