The myth of the perfect baby

Yeah, so I need to do a bunch of them.  I'm thinking I'm gonna cram them all into one or something, but that would be unfair to my one reader, I don't think that person gives a flying fuck at a rolling rats rear about bic 4 color pens or madjool dates, let alone the fish oil shit I pawned off on my daughter.  But, what I am gonna do is try to get a few keyword hits for my wonderful home made diy crap.  Evidently, I'd be rude to not give credit to google for looking up the recipes on other sites and in all due credit, these recipes are not my own, but the effort sure as shit is. Washing soda.  That shit is hard to find.  Did you know you can just put baking soda on a cookie sheet in the oven while you go about your afternoon and it'll turn into the same thing?  Well, I didn't either until I googled it.  Then I did it and I had all the ingredients I needed to make the home made things I'll list below. Laundry Powder... One bar Fels Naptha Two cups ...

Well, as much as it may embarrass him I have to admit that teenage boys STINK.  Like I don't even know how he stands himself.  The fucker is the hairiest kid I've ever seen since my brother was that age.  He is such a great guy that it's hard for me to find faults beyond the average teenage boy crap.  So my plan of attack is this...I'm going to make him some all natural deodorant that he can apply um, well, other places than just his armpits, since I'm pretty sure it's not just his armpits that stink.  Since I don't have much else to talk about today (bad pain day again :( )  I thought I'd share the recipe and when he's tried it for a few days, I'll post our "results" lol. 1/8 cup baking soda 1/8 cup cornstarch 2-3 tablespoons coconut oil 3-5 drops essential oil of your choice (I have lavender on hand so we'll use that) melt the coconut oil and mix together all ingredients.  you can use an old stick deodorant container to app...