The myth of the perfect baby

Yeah, so I need to do a bunch of them.  I'm thinking I'm gonna cram them all into one or something, but that would be unfair to my one reader, I don't think that person gives a flying fuck at a rolling rats rear about bic 4 color pens or madjool dates, let alone the fish oil shit I pawned off on my daughter.  But, what I am gonna do is try to get a few keyword hits for my wonderful home made diy crap.  Evidently, I'd be rude to not give credit to google for looking up the recipes on other sites and in all due credit, these recipes are not my own, but the effort sure as shit is. Washing soda.  That shit is hard to find.  Did you know you can just put baking soda on a cookie sheet in the oven while you go about your afternoon and it'll turn into the same thing?  Well, I didn't either until I googled it.  Then I did it and I had all the ingredients I needed to make the home made things I'll list below. Laundry Powder... One bar Fels Naptha Two cups ...

We're only 20 days in and I feel like it's been 3 months already.  I'm sick again, the holidays and everything else that's gone on in my little bubble has stressed my poor body out to the max and my ticker's gone haywire again.  I had a defib right before xmas that was caused by a really severe a-fib and now I'm in full blown acute failure with lowered kidney and liver functions.  My mind is a wreck and my body is quickly following suit.  I'm also down to a weight I haven't seen since before I became a mother (when I snorted my lunch most days) and no one is quite sure why.  So yeah, Happy fucking New Year right?  Onward and upward, my perfect baby turned 7 last week.  I was reminded that while I was wrestling my 18 month old hellion that he really WAS a perfect baby.  Quiet and calm and never got into anything.  He's making up for lost time with his sound effects and rude mouth, but that's ok, all 7 year olds are a little mouthy! I did e...