The myth of the perfect baby

   So wow, I'm writing again all of a sudden, what's with that?  Sometimes I'm completely predictable, and then again, sometimes I shock the hell out of even myself.  I'm not sure what compels me to share the things I do so openly, but at this point in my life, I kind of feel like there are people that could learn from the dumb shit I've done.     I was reading back through some of the older posts on here, remembering who I was then, where I was, and what I was going through.  I come off like such a miserable person in so much of it.  I really wasn't.  I just didn't have anyone to talk to and didn't know how to express myself any better than I did.  I don't truly know if I've learned from it, I just have someone to talk to now.  Someones...plural...I actually have a female friend that hasn't gone running for the hills or decided they don't like me anymore because I can't do enough for them (that's a reference to some really old po

 It's been a long time since I've been here, doing this.  This thing I used to do and cherish so very much.  My priorities changed, my life changed, the world changed, everything and everyone changed.  And that's ok.  I don't know where to really begin with this, but I'm betting it'll be a long one, so if you're here, reading this, settle in for a long post.  With a lot of run on sentences and grammar errors because when I get to typing I really don't pay as much attention as I should, and I don't proofread these as much as I used to.  My time is more valuable to me than it used to be.   A long time a go a whole lot of doctors told me I was really sick...so sick I was going to die but not QUITE sick enough to qualify for any help of any kind. So I had myself pretty depressed for a while.  I realize now that ir was mostly self induced.  Some of it was situational, but most of it was because I do a great job of convincing myself the worst will happen s