The myth of the perfect baby

I've got this thing where I disappear for days on end from my friends online.  I think I mentioned that once before.  Sometimes I have good reasons, sometimes I just need a break or I've gotten into a book and I get all obsessed and can't put it down and I do everything one handed because I can't stop reading.  How was THAT for a run on sentence?  Anyway, this last weekend I was offline. Not really, I mean, I kept checking Facebook randomly when Memphis would log me in through a game on my iPad or when he'd pin something for me but for the most part, it wasn't me that was there.  He had roseola.  Any mom that's had a kid with this knows the horror of realizing that your kid has a giant fever and you have no clue why.  When Maxwell had it, his fever topped out at 105 and I damn near panicked.  Phiz, never got above 103 and by the time I even realized for sure what it was, he had the rash and the fever had broken.  He acted totally normal thr...

You may want to settle in a minute, I'm not sure.  I don't know if I'll become emotionally exhausted halfway through and have to stop, of if it will be one of those posts  that makes people wonder if my shrink needs to adjust my meds.  Either way, I'm having  a REALLY hard time this last week, and the week before.  It seems like everyone and everything has its or their own way of doing things and that within the year we've all been here together we'd have become accustomed to each others idiosyncratic behaviours.  My mother lives here FFS, I've known the woman my whole life, I know how she is. Nothing has gone as it was planned at all.  Everyone still gets on everyone's nerves.  The animals here that were supposed to be shared duty have turned into making my 17 year old the king of shit clean up for animals that do not belong to him.  He is left picking up slack that literally no one else here will.  My husband doesn't understand y...

Welcome to the Taboo Carnival . Our topic this Summer is “My Parents Failed Me (A Little or a Lot)” This post was written for inclusion in the quarterly Taboo Carnival hosted by Momma Jorje and Hybrid Rasta Mama . This month our participants reflect on the parenting failures of their own parents or in themselves. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. ******************************* I'm not even sure how many people will understand that title.  When I was a kid, a "latch key kid" was a kid who got home before their parents.  I honestly don't know the origin, and where as I could google it and give you the root origin of the slang term, that's not why I'm writing this.  No, today folks, I'm not going to talk about any products, or stuff I've made.  I'm probably not even going to mention my boobs more than a few times, but I'm betting they'll factor in too, because in truth, I harbor s...

Ok, so that's probably dramatic, but it's hell LIKE here some days and I need to talk about a hair product today.  I'm going to get that shit out of the way first, because frankly, it's cool hair stuff and because I don't want to forget to do it.  Uberliss.  Weird name, great product.  They sent me some samples of shampoo and conditioner, but the bigger deal here was the Uberliss Straight Effect Rituoil Orchid and Argan oil complex.  It is AH-MAZING! It really is.  I believe it's designed for curly haired folks to use to straighten with heat but I have extremely straight hair as it is, so for me it just made my hair smell great and feel like cornsilk.  I LOVED using it the first time, and realized that even though the shampoo and conditioner were one use only samples, the oil is going to last quite a while.  You only need about a dime size amount to cover my hair and it's down to my waist so it will last me probably a good 3 months and that's if I...

So one of my lifelong dreams has been to be a tattoo artist.  I'm not sure I'll ever become one, but a rather "easy" substitute is henna.  I henna'd my hair a lot when I was a teen.  My mom taught me how and we did it about every 60 days or so for years, but I wanted less realistic colors so went the way of the colorist and forgot all about henna for years.  Well, MY daughter brought it back up a few months ago and we did out hair.  I forgot how much I LOVE HENNA!!!! So it came time to order a new batch and I went to my favorite ebay retailer for the brand I love (Jamila) and I'll link her in the bottom of this post or in a comment :) We did a test batch because this was a different mix than we usually would use, I'm out of lemon juice and we wanted to try apple cider vinegar.  So we mixed up a test batch and waited for the dye release.  The batch was way too small to do anything but maybe try a few tattoos, so I added some honey to it to see what I co...

When I was pregnant with Phiz, my case manager at Care1st called the area I live Never Never land, because if you need good medical care you're never never going to get it.  Oh my good golly is that ever the fucking case when it comes to good old Antelope Valley Hospital Medical Center's Emergency Department. Over the last week I dealt with a nasty clogged duct in my left boob.  THE boob, the one with the pacemaker up top, so it's painful when that boob even gets full, let alone a clogged duct, but they happen. Of course when it happens it's that boob and the duct right under the pacemaker. Since the pacemaker is generally sore ANYWAY, and something I never mention because frankly, if I mentioned every time something hurt on me I'd never say anything else.  So the clogged duct had a weird milk blister thing that I was able to get easily with a sterilized tweezers and the milk started flowing just fine and all was well that day. The next day, the duct was clogged a...

YEAH WELL I'M NOT. So get the fuck over it.  I'm flawed.  I'm notoriously flaky.  I cancel on appointments that make me nervous.  I do weird shit.  Sometimes? Sometimes I pull off sane and no one is the wiser, but for the most part, you just get to know me and realize I hide a lot, a lot of the time.  Most of it is for no good reason, I don't even know why I don't tell people some of it.  I guess I could have warned you this was one of those introspective blogs where I get all weird.  I'll probably post you some shit later in it that is entirely more fun, so don't despair, my Ativan will kick in. Moving on, I'm an appointment canceling queen.  Sometimes, it's not because I don't want to go, but sometimes it really is.  In my defense they were all non emergent appointments.  Not in my favor they were all for the little boys.  But here's the thing, there's that weird stigma about putting a leash on your kid and no matter how cute...