Tuesday, November 20, 2012

It's about that time...

Well, it's that time of year again, the holiday season.  Yay.  I love the holidays (note the massive sarcasm there).  I don't look forward to them, in fact I can't wait until they are over.  I can't stand the fact that they are all about how much money you can spend, especially considering I never have any. 

As always I get to start this season off with a fucking bang.  My dog had puppies about 2 weeks ago (12 days to be exact) and as much as I KNOW I'm a terrible pet owner for not having them fixed yet, shit happens and now I have to suck it up and deal with it.

Seven of them, and the best thing I can say is that at least she didn't have them in the middle of the night and all of them lived.

Moving on, holidays starting with a bang, but not that it matters because no one ever comes here anyway so I could have a zillion puppies and no one would know about it.  I'm not sure why exactly, I guess I give off a "don't come to my house" kind of vibe, I dunno, I just know that sometimes it sucks to want company and know that no one wants to be at your house.  I guess it's partly because it smells funky, but 50 year old carpet and a mini zoo and it's gonna.  That's ok, at least I don't have to clean.

So, beyond that, I've been spending a concentrated amount of time every day getting free or nearly free shit online.  It's been a lot of fun for me.  My sometimes very ungrateful family doesn't seem to enjoy it as much as me, but I don't care, it's a great time waster and I feel like a little kid when the mail comes and it's not all bills addressed to the "estate of...".  I've gotten a stylus for my ipad (still waiting for it), a little led light that fits in your wallet, a netti pot type thing, a bunch of samples of stuff including teas, coffees and spices and I was picked to do a couple online reviews of products so you'll be seeing those in upcoming blogs.  One of them is for children's Advil of all things...lil ole me gets to do a product review for ADVIL!!  I'm cool (not).

I also ordered some environmentally friendly diapers for the Phiz man.  They cost a little bit more than pampers (I'm a diaper snob because my babies have sensitive skin) but they are amazingly cute and they don't smell dank nasty when they get wet, they just smell like...get this...pee.  They come in other patterns but our trial bag was the skulls, check these out :)

Are those not the cutest disposable diapers you've ever seen?  They're from a company started by Jessica Alba called The Honest Company.  Here's a link in case you wanna check them out.   They have some promo codes, easy to come by but I didn't use them so I'm not sure how they work cuz my order was less than $20.

So, I hate holidays, my dog had puppies, I got a buncha free shit online and I bought some really cute dipes from Jessica Alba's company, I don't think I missed anything for all both of you that might read this LOL.

Until next time...

Saturday, November 3, 2012

The box...

I'm what they call a "kitchen witch", meaning I keep most of my witchy supplies in my kitchen.  I do keep a rubbermaid type box of some supplies in my bedroom though, with a few special items that don't normally go in a kitchen, like bags of stones and crystals, my altar cloth and my tarot decks.  My dumb huge dog knocked the box over a few days ago and I had just pushed it back into it's spot and threw the lid back on loose thinking I'd put it right next time I thought about it.  That was this morning.  One thing I keep in there, and I'm not sure why, is a memory box I was given when I was discharged from the hospital in 2004.  That box contains what little I have of MacKenzie Zane, my lost angel.  He was born extremely premature, just shy of what the hospital he was delivered at considered viable.

My water broke, and although it was a long and excruciating labor and it is a very long and painful story to tell, I can not tell it now.  Needless to say, I still grieve for him every day.  I couldn't help but peek inside that box today, and in doing so, I reduced myself to a puddle of tears.  All I have of him are a couple of polaroid pictures, a set of his very tiny footprints and the little outfit he wore for our time with him.  That, and a piece of a blanket that I'd started to knit for him.

When I got pregnant the next time, I didn't make or buy anything until after that baby was viable to live outside of me.  That baby is playing angry birds next to me right now and was the biggest and most healthy of all of my kids.  He was also sitting right here when I opened that damn box.  When he saw me crying, he put his hand over mine and said "Mommy, it's ok to be sad, and I love you the best of everyone".  The wisdom of a 6 year old is awesome.  It IS ok to still be sad after all this time.  He was my child, and although I didn't get to know him and nurse him and be with him like I have the rest of them, I love him.  Even on the days that my heart breaks because all I have of him is the box.

Until next time...