Thursday, October 27, 2016

Work Work Work...

Except it's not really work when you find people you enjoy being with right?  So let me tell you what's going on in my world.  And here again is your friendly reminder that you clicked in here, you picked to be here so anything in this lil ole blog of mine that offends your delicate sensibilities?  Well, I don't particularly give a fuck and you can go cry somewhere else.  Moving on.

My life in a nutshell has been pretty cool.  With the exception of the hiccup a little while back and yeah, it was kind of a big hiccup I admit, things are better right now than they have been in a long long time.  My new work environment has a lot to do with that.  Yep, it's actual work people.  Someone really truly paid money for pictures of me.  Surprising I know.  But when you have someone that's really good at taking the pics and editing them, I guess it doesn't matter how many flaws you have or how fucked up you are in reality.  All that really matters to a whole lot of people is the outside anyway.


It's amazing to find people that care about the inside too.  And I'm fortunate to say I have indeed found that in my new photographer and the model I've been steadily working with this last month.  It's been an absolutely amazing experience and I can't even begin to imagine what it'd be like to not have had it happen.  Especially with perfect timing. So I know this is kind of a short blog, but I am going to share some of the pics here.  Forgive the watermarks, but uh...I do actually know who visits this blog (yes I see you dipshits) and I'm not giving anyone the chance to publicize it without my name in it this time lol.  Have a great day!!!

Until next time...

Saturday, October 1, 2016

The Life I Lead...

Yeah, it's me again.  I do this sometimes, ya know, that thing where I actually give a shit about life and try to make a go of things?  So fuck what you heard it's what you hearin.  Yup, I'm quoting DMX.  What else to you expect the girl with the Deadpool tattoo to do?

Damn I hate this shit though...I hate the not knowing.  But I do know this:  It always works out the way it's supposed to.  Always.  Today is a significant date for me, for Ronnie, for our family.  My whole world changed 12 years ago, and for the worse, for the better, forever.  I lost a baby 12 years ago today.  Not a miscarriage per se, but a premature stillbirth due to amniotic infection.  It's a long story, I think I've told the story before if you look back through the archives and I choose not to taint my happiness today with the hurt and heartache retelling it causes.  So I won't.  Needless to say,  he was lost, and it changes a person.

Forever changed the landscape of my history.  A history that is filled with things most people think are made up and manipulated for attentions sake or humor, but most are either downplayed or are told the way they are.  Because it is who I am.  I came across this on my Facebook newsfeed today and of course it fits me well.  Don't walk a mile in my shoes, you could never do it.

The life I lead isn't for everyone.  And everyone doesn't understand what it is to be like me.  They don't understand what it's like to have finances like ours, how we get by, how we are able to do things like smoke pot (donations are a beautiful thing people and some places donate for shout outs, as well as some people are willing to do things like trade for things we own and don't want or time we have to give) or pay our bills (I have an extremely generous friend in another state that pays a lot of my bills and sends me money when I am flat broke because he is an amazing human being, not because there is anything in it for him) when I bitch about never making enough money.  The truth of it is, if you're not paying my bills, it's not your fucking business.  And this blog, and my social media are not my entire life, they are snippets into my life.  There is a lot more behind the scenes that no one but us and a very few selected people know about.  If you're one of those people, you know exactly who you are.  If you question if you're one of them, you're not.  It's that fucking simple.  I'm more private than I seem.  

It takes a strange kind of person to bare literally all for the world to see.  One that "has no shame" most would think.  That's not true.  A lot of people think that I would literally to anything at all for money.  The reality is simple, I won't or I wouldn't be broke, think about it.  I have hard limits.  There are a lot of limits to what I will do.  I have kind of a general rule about shoving things up my ass for instance.  I'm not into it, so I don't.  I've been camming for 10 years without ever once shoving anything up my ass.  Maybe that's why I'm broke.  Try explaining that to your kids at  Christmas, "sorry kids, you can't have a PS4 because mommy doesn't like things in her asshole".  Yeah, nope.  

Speaking of camming, I'm still waiting on approval to start the new site.  I'm fucking always waiting on someone else to make money.  And what do you want to bet they're not having an issue with their bills getting paid?  Because bitches like me don't matter to people like them, I'm just another piece of ass.  Aren't I always?

Until next time...