Friday, December 20, 2013

Lips and Asses...

Yeah, you read that right. Lips and asses.  I usually associate the term with hot dogs, and it's usually lips and assholes, but there is a reason I wrote it that way.  This is not about hot dogs.  Or assholes really, unless you count my family being jerky rude assholes and then yeah, I guess that counts.  It's been a while since I posted and I have a little catching up to do with ya. 

Thanksgiving was ok.  It was a fully satisfying huge meal that we ended up eating off of for days afterward, thanks to my very dear friend helping me yet again.  I made a beautiful meal that included homemade rolls even.  I made almost everything from scratch and it was amazing and I was and still am pretty proud of myself for having done it.  See?

That's my lil Phizzy man there in the background.  He's gotten pretty tall, eh?  So there was that meal, and then this one right after that was turkey a la king, home made bread and in the jars behind the bread is turkey stock...

This girl can cook like a mofo.  I don't do it as often as I used to for several reasons.  My kitchen here is small, and my mom complains about almost everything I cook.  She always does it in a sneaky weird way anymore, like telling me the next day how dinner kept her in the bathrom all night.  I find that less than complimentary.  I have no idea what to do about that though.  Except let my husband do a lot of the cooking anymore.  

Moving on to the title, the lips part.  Last night, Memphis ran into a bookshelf and busted his upper lip open.  It scared the shit out of me more than anything because he barely cried.  He did almost nothing but stare wide eyed at me while I cleaned the blood that was dripping off of him.  It also gave him a knock on the forehead, but it wa the lip that was and is still scary to me.

Both pics are while he was asleep because that's the only time he is ever still!  Top is last night, bottom is this morning.  It's not too bad, I know, but my kids getting hurt freaks me out.  Blood from a child is never fun for a mommy.

On to the "ass" part of the title.  Who here has heard of pilonidal disease?  About a year or so ago my tailbone got really painful.  I take a hell of a lot of drugs too, so for the pain to be almost unbearable I knew something was off, but where it was located, I wasn't really excited about having a doctor look at it so I sat on my heat pad, took hot baths and tried to just cope with it.  Mind you, this was not the first time it'd happened, it was just the worst pain I'd had from it.  So, eventually I felt better and at my next appointment with my pain management doctor I mentioned it.  A few months later, I Started hurting really bad again, only this time, there was a swelling in my ass crack the size of a marble and when I looked at it in the mirror (that was acrobatic of me, believe me) my whole lower back and buttcrack was green with bruising.  So this time I sucked it up, got over being embarrASSed and called the doctor.  But they couldn't get me in for a couple of weeks and told me to go to the ER.  I had another pain management appointment the following week, so instead I had that doctor look at it.  She immediately knew what it was, told me it was a pilonidal cyst that was probably very abcessed and gave me some antibiotics and told me I really needed to have it lanced.  But here's the thing, my brother had this when he was about 18.  They actually leave the thing open and pack it with gauze and let it heal from the inside out.  The doctor also told me I really need to have it surgically removed because I have some pretty serious spinal damage already and the pressure that fluid puts on my spine is dangerous.  That's not even talking about what happens if the infection breaks free and ends up in my blood stream.  That'd probably kill me according to her.  So that round of flare up ends in the gross swelling eventually draining on it's own and the bruising subsiding eventually.

About oh, I dunno, a week or so ago, I started to get up in the morning and moved wrong and felt the now familiar sharp pain in my tailbone.  There is again a swelling, but it's minor in comparison to the patch of skin that looks like broken blood vessels or something.  I don't even know.  I am scared to go anywhere and have it looked at because I know already what the treatment is for this.  None of them are pleasant, all of them will put me in bed until well after the first of the year, and it's almost Christmas.  5 days before to be exact.  And I'm doing my very best just to keep everyone from killing each other as it is.  Not to mention that my family can not function without me telling them what to do and how to do it. Sadly, I have to yell at people here to get them to do anything at all most of the time.  My husband can't handle things when I'm at what is now 100% for me, what the hell would he do if I was laid up in bed all day?  So I'm kind of stuck being butthurt, literally.  So that's where I'm at.  Fun times!

On an entirely opposite and happy note, I just want to show off my Christmas present from my friend in Georgia.  I got this to keep some food upstairs so that when funds and vittles are running low, my darling mother doesn't do her typical tricks of eating everything she can stuff in her mouth while simultaneously feeding whatever she can think of to the cats.  AND IT'S PURPLE!!!

So, I've written enough to keep ya busy for a few minutes at least, and I'll try to get a new post up on Sunday.  I've got some pretty cool shit to show you as far as product.  You can totally look forward to seeing a few recipes too.  Y'all are awesome for reading.  Happy Holidays to you too, whatever you celebrate, and much love from us crazies over here.  Until next time...

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