Saturday, October 20, 2012

I'm having one of those days...

Yeah, I know I have them a lot.  I had this whole post started like a week ago about my beautiful daughter, but I can't seem to get it right.  I just am not doing her or our story any justice so I have that on hold and have just decided to start anew today. 

I'm desperately trying to put my shit together and it's just not working.  I'm very much missing my friend, who I don't believe I've mentioned here before.  He's a wonderful man I met on the internet.  Odd, I know, you generally don't meet normal people online, but this guy is a gem.  I don't get to talk to him nearly as often as I'd like to and he's about the only voice of reason in my insane world because he's objective.  He doesn't know my family from anyone, but is always able to give me good advice, even when it's to kick me in the ass and tell me that I need to get over myself. 

I'm also missing my sister in law who is not my sister in law.  Strange story I guess there, lol.  She was married to my brother before he died, but her mother is also married to one of my husband's older brothers so we'd have been family anyway.  Through some stroke of luck, she's put up with my shit for 20 years and still talks to me!  I dunno what I did to get that lucky, but whatever it was I'm glad.  She was going to come over today, but her little girl is sick so rather than risk spreading a stomach bug here, we had to skip it.

My mother is driving me fucking crazy though.  I need these people to remind me that I can do this.  I can handle this.  I am strong, and I am strong enough to deal with everything.  I love my mom, but damn it, she's hard to live with sometimes.  I know I am too, but it's my blog, so I get to be the one to complain :) It's home here, it is, and I know that.  The rational part of my brain understands that I need to be present and make this place good for my children, but the irrational part of me is still so fucked up I don't know how to do that.  I spend so much time beating myself up over that, it's ridiculous.  And that is why I'm crazy!!

Moving on, we made some "calm down" bottles for the little ones, a big one for Max and a small one for Memphis.  Max is not doing very well using his and I didn't take any pics of them, but they are all over pinterest so I'm ok not documenting that.  I also applied to do some product testing for a thing called "Mom's Meet" and was accepted.  I'm waiting for my first few items to get here so I can review them...now the trick is to find 5 moms in my area to meet up with to do that.  I have a couple of ladies I think will join but I'm not sure about 5.  I thought it would force me to be social though so maybe this is a good thing.  That and it's all "green" products and that's always been something I've enjoyed.

I'm missing Pagan Pride day in my area because my wonderful hubby and oldest son are out having a yard sale today to try to make a little extra cash and while looking through the garage, found a crate of *get this* Playboy collector cards!!  They are actually pretty cool and I found a guy online that's willing to help me price them so we can try to make a little cash off that also.  Everything in my world always revolves around money!  I read an article many years ago about how married people only fight about three things, money, sex and family.  I agree whole heartedly.  That's all R and I ever fight about.  We never have enough money or sex and have too many damn kids, which is why we never have enough money or sex LOL.

I really want to get a Monroe piercing so even though I'm broke, I still think if the other adults here can find money for the stupid shit they buy I can do something for myself too, plus I think they look cool and I miss my eyebrow ring.  And, with that, my little phizzy man has woken up from his nap and is in a rather clingy mood so I can't type anymore.



Until next time...
J


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