Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Eavesdropping and a MAJOR Confession...

The confession will be something some of you already know, so don't get too excited yet, but it is pretty major for me to tell the people that don't.  I'll get to that in a bit.  First, the eavesdropping part of the title.

I have a fondness for doing it myself, and I'm aware it's really rude.  I know that when I do it, the things that I hear about myself, I can't take too hard because the people saying them are not meaning for me to hear and that is why they are saying them to someone else and not to me.  Sometimes, I still take it pretty hard, but I try really hard not to.  That being said, we have a little issue with it here at Casa de Crazy.  Here, we have an over zealous eavesdropper that will listen to any and all conversation being had and will get vindictive and angry at people for having private conversations never meant for their ears.  I bet you can guess who I am talking about.  You would be right.  My mommy.  Goddess love her, she just can't help herself I guess.

It's pretty bad when you can't talk to anyone about anything at all without having to worry about what will be overheard right?  But it's just the way it is.  People ask me what's wrong with her that she does some of these things, and I have to answer honestly with this.  Nothing.  Not a damn thing.  She has no mental or medical condition that makes her act like a child, or do the things she does.  In fact, for the bulk of my memory she has been a very self centered person who just did whatever she wanted and thought about the consequences later on.  It made for a rough growing up, especially after she married someone that really was crazy.  

So back to the eavesdropping part, k?  Let me tell you some of the weirdness.  The  tv in her room stays at it's lowest volume so she can hear what goes on in the upstairs.  She stands in the shadows in the hallway downstairs and listens to my husband and I talk in our bedroom ALL THE TIME, and will even creep halfway up the stairs to listen to us if she thinks she can get back down them quick enough to not get caught.  The way the vents are set up in our house there is an intake vent in the downstairs hallway that she can stand by and hear damn near everything upstairs, and it's located right next to the bathroom, so she can sit in there with the door cracked and listen away.  And she does.  Daily.  All. Day. Long. Every. Single. Day. Of. My. Fucking. Life.  Every little thing she hears, if it's about her or not, she is sure it's about her and she gets herself all butthurt about it and acts like someone just slapped her in the face.  If you hear something bad about yourself while eavesdropping on someone's private conversation, it's your own damn fault as far as I'm concerned.  You shouldn't get all upset and go to your room and cry when you hear people say they are irritated with you for doing exactly what you're doing rght then.  Also, it's fucking creepy to not be able to have any damn privacy at all.  If we did have any semblance of a sex life she'd listen to that too, and well, gross.  It's a tiny little part of why I never really worked here to begin with.  I've only tried to work here a few times even though she does indeed know what my job is and spends money like we're millionaires.  She also listens to phone conversations.  Why you'd want to listen to your 20 year old granddaughter have phone sex I have no idea, but again, fucking creepy.  I have no idea how to handle it except to come here and complain because everyone here is so fed up with it, we have given up trying to be quiet about what we say.

On a side note, we did find the kittens.  Or rather, they just got old enough to come out of the hiding spot their mom had them in and start exploring the house.  They are all just fine, but I'm damn near certain my mom had known all along right where they were and has actually been giving them cow's milk which is horrible for them.  So, we're back to just not buying milk again, or buying it in small, single serve containers for the little boys and keeping it up here in the mini fridge.

Now on to the confession part of the blog.  Many years ago I was in a car accident.  I was driving a 1986 Mercury Lynx station wagon.  At a stop light one day while I was on my lunch break from work, an elderly couple slammed into the back of my car in their mini van.  They had been shopping at the Eastgate Mall in Cincinnati Ohio, and the man thought the light turned green when it had not yet.  I found all this out later, because at the time, they took off, it was a "hit and run" accident.  There was no obvious damage to my car, but it moved my stopped vehicle almost 12 full feet forward while I was at a dead stop and I had my food on the brake.  When they slammed into the back of my car, I slammed my mouth onto the steering wheel and also whiplashed my neck.  That was actually the beginning of my bone spurs there, but from what I've been told, I would have developed them anyway, just later on and probably to a lesser degree.  

I went back to work not realizing I was hurt and finished out my day.  I had a desk job at the time and since my best friend worked with me, she was able to just look at me and tell something was off, so we ended up going to the ER after work and discovered two things.  The first one was that I'd hurt my neck pretty bad, and the second was that the man that was driving the vehicle that hit me and took off had been injured as well and had gone to the same hospital.  Not only was he not telling the doctor there the truth about who was driving (he was telling them he was the passenger), he was telling them it was the other driver's fault.  This was in the days before traffic cams, but there were skid marks that were later measured by the police and the width of my tires was thinner than theirs so they really could tell that THEY hit ME, not the other way around.

Anyway, to move on with the story, I was at the time in quite a bit of pain due to the neck injury and in fact, it to this day causes me a great deal of pain because it never healed right and it grew the bone spurs on it and the discs between the vertebrae are essentially nonexistent but they are in several other places of my spine as well so I'm told I would've had an issue there regardless.  On to the confession part though, when I was hit, I basically bit the steering wheel.  I cracked all of my front teeth, upper and lower under the gum line, and since I already needed some (a lot) of dental work, it got bad pretty quick.  I did have dental insurance, but I maxed out my benefits in just a few visits and not much was done to fix my teeth.  In a short amount of time, I started to look like a crack head.  I got treated like one too.  Most people assumed that my teeth were like that because of drugs.  They weren't, but people didn't care to ask, they just assumed and so that's how it was.

When I moved back, my friends and family were shocked to see what condition my mouth was in (I think they were surprised that I hadn't gotten fat living in the midwest also, but I hadn't).  It was several years before I was able to start having any work done, and by that point, they all needed to be pulled.  I've never been able to have root canal's anyway, they've always come out, the bars that they put in the hold the roots together reject.  So that was not an option, the only option was to pull them all and have full upper and lower dentures made.  That is my confession.  I have no teeth.  I haven't had any for almost 13 years now.  When I had my set made, they were made cheaply (even though I didn't pay for them out of pocket, the cheapest set possible is what I've got because the state paid for them due to me being on state medical for disabled people, which I've been on for almost the entire time I've been back in California).  I have never learned to eat with them in.  I've never learned to wear them consistently.  In fact, I only wear them when I'm going to go out or when people I don't know very well are going to see me.  Of course I wear them to work, because they fill in my face and who wants to fantasize about someone toothless, right?   Why am I telling you all this now?  Because the state took away dental care for many years and I was not able to have them relined or fixed or looked at or have the aveoloplasty I was originally supposed to have done to make them fit right.  The state just reinstated their dental program in a limited fashion, and decided that people on Medi-Cal are now allowed to go to the dentist!  Yay for us poor folks!  I've always felt like dental coverage shouldn't have to be a luxury for people, but sadly, in our country it is.  Some third world countries take better care of their people's mouths than we do here.

So I got to make an appointment to have my teeth fixed and the appointment was for this morning.  I was led to believe that they were going to do a simple hard reline and they'd just fix the pink part to make them fit right.  I got myself all excited, thinking this was it, I'd learn to eat with them, and start wearing them all the time and that the bone loss I'm suffering would stop and all that happens when you have dentures and hardly ever wear them wouldn't keep happening to me.  As it so often happens, I was wrong.  I got to my appointment and waited forever.  Keep in mind, I'd been told if I got there by a certain time, I'd get them back relined by this evening.  I got there by the right time, but while I was in the waiting area, I watched the courier that picks up the appliances come and go and I'm thinking well shit, there goes my chance to get my teeth back today!   I get called back, and the first thing they do is tell me I need x-rays.  WHY the fuck does someone with no teeth need an x-ray?  I'm pretty sure it's just to get more money, because wtf are they going to see except my damn jawbone?  So they tell me I need them but I have to take all the piercings out of my face and ears.  So that's 8 earrings, one of which is pretty new and still healing and shouldn't be taken out at all.  An eyebrow ring, a nose ring, and my lip ring which is also not quite healed up yet.  That alone took me another 10 minutes or so to get them all out and in the baggie and I had to apologize because, honestly, if I'd known I'd have taken most of them out or put retainers or bioplastics in.  Then the dentist comes in, looks at me for all of 30 seconds, asks me how old my plates are and tells me that they're just going to apply to get me new teeth anyway because not only are mine really too old to risk a reline, the bottoms are cut too short on the acrylic to reline anyway!  That's going to take another probably six months before I get good teeth.  I'll have to go through all the gagging impressions and the wax molds and all that shit, that's something like 6 to 8 visits over 6 or 8 weeks.  I'm pretty disappointed about it really.  I thought I'd have teeth I could eat with by my birthday.  Now I'm nervous to go through it all again and all the adjustments again.  The impressions are the hardest part for me because they DO gag me really bad and I've gotten made fun of by dental assistants for it before, I'm worried I will again.  I know I should be grateful I get them at all, and I truly am, I'm just disappointed it'll take so long.  But this time, I hope that they'll fit really well and I'll learn how to wear them the 18 hours a day most people with dentures wear theirs.

So that is my confession.  I hope that the few people that didn't already know about this that will after they read this won't be grossed out by me now.  I hope that it doesn't make them think less of me, but really, if they didn't already, I don't see how this would.  But this explains a great deal why some medical professionals treat me so shitty huh?  See me without my teeth in and at this age?  They think I'm a meth addict or a crack addict or something.  Then they see I'm a pain management patient on my chart and it makes it 1,000 times worse.  When I feel like shit, the last thing I want to do is put my teeth in, because they hurt to wear and I already hurt or I wouldn't be there.  And with all of that, I'm going to close for today because, well, it's a long blog and I'm tired now LOL.  Look forward to some product review posts coming up soon because I've got several lined up and I was blessed to try out some really cool stuff.  Thanks for reading me through, I know this was a long one!

Until next time...

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