The myth of the perfect baby

 A long time ago in a land far far away I was an unruly teenager terrorizing the Antelope Valley.  I worked two jobs to support myself and my habits and no kids because I didn't want them.  I don't particularly like children.  I babysat as a kid, because didn't we all back then? But I didn't even like myself as a kid, let alone want to make more people like me.  Then one day I woke up doubled over in pain and my gallbladder was full of stones and I ended up needing emergency surgery to remove it.  When they went in there, they took my appendix out too because it's just something they did in the early nineties.  When they did that they accidentally or on purpose severed the Fallopian tube on their way down.  They explained due to the scar tissue and adhesions they saw on my left ovary and tube in other procedures they said I would never have kids. They were wrong. Six weeks later I conceived my daughter.  I didn't figure that out for quite som...

 So, I get that I have some curious onlookers in my life.  I understand that.  What never occurred to me is that you'd stumble upon this little gem of my world and be able to read so much of my past.  You may think I'm upset by this.  Or maybe ashamed.  Perhaps even worried you may do something with that information.   You'd be wrong.  This blog has existed since my world was full of real life monsters that I called family.  I'm sure you've learned that by now.  And discovered more truths than lies in my tales.  I really have lived the life I tell.  I really have done all the things I said I have.  And I've documented it along the way.  I may have stopped writing here for bits and pieces when I got busy.  And I may have been very closed mouth about my cannabis usage and production way back when because I had no license.  But I am exactly who I say I am. So it comes to a point where I realize that I have tool...

 It's been quite a little bit since I've really had time to sit down and write. Or, really since I've had the energy and hand strength to write and work in the same day and we don't really take very many days off here.  When we do it's kind of forced by health vs anything else.  We've been really blessed to be busy so far this year. My darling husband is on another round of gout right now, and I've got some new toys to play with including a commercial cotton candy machine that's taken over my kitchen and I absolutely love her.  I should hold a contest somewhere to name it.  Presently I'm actually on a Facebook ban so I'm not even able to post there lol.  I may be able to do it on another one though.   Anyway, this was really just a quick check in, to say hi, and let everyone know that I'm still here, and I see y'all checking in...if you need me, you know where to find me ;) Until Next Time... J

   So wow, I'm writing again all of a sudden, what's with that?  Sometimes I'm completely predictable, and then again, sometimes I shock the hell out of even myself.  I'm not sure what compels me to share the things I do so openly, but at this point in my life, I kind of feel like there are people that could learn from the dumb shit I've done.     I was reading back through some of the older posts on here, remembering who I was then, where I was, and what I was going through.  I come off like such a miserable person in so much of it.  I really wasn't.  I just didn't have anyone to talk to and didn't know how to express myself any better than I did.  I don't truly know if I've learned from it, I just have someone to talk to now.  Someones...plural...I actually have a female friend that hasn't gone running for the hills or decided they don't like me anymore because I can't do enough for them (that's a reference to some really old po...

 It's been a long time since I've been here, doing this.  This thing I used to do and cherish so very much.  My priorities changed, my life changed, the world changed, everything and everyone changed.  And that's ok.  I don't know where to really begin with this, but I'm betting it'll be a long one, so if you're here, reading this, settle in for a long post.  With a lot of run on sentences and grammar errors because when I get to typing I really don't pay as much attention as I should, and I don't proofread these as much as I used to.  My time is more valuable to me than it used to be.   A long time a go a whole lot of doctors told me I was really sick...so sick I was going to die but not QUITE sick enough to qualify for any help of any kind. So I had myself pretty depressed for a while.  I realize now that ir was mostly self induced.  Some of it was situational, but most of it was because I do a great job of convincing myself the worst ...

 Ok so, I dunno how you got here but if you're here reading this hi.  I'm Juni and you may have found me from another social media or you may have just wandered in.  Regardless, this post is going to ramble so settle in... October is a shitty month for me in general usually, mentally.  It's my "I lost my babies" month.  The birthday of my stillborn son, the anniversary of my losses and generally a shitty month.  But I do love Halloween because I'm Pagan as fuck.  So I'll kick off November and be all good.  This November I was fucking around on TikTok and posted a video that went viral.  Then my little company got so many orders so fast I didn't know it was even possible.  The faster I made gummies the faster they sold.   And the more videos I posted the more followers I got and in a week I went from 2,400 to roughly 16.5k. And counting I hope.  For a long time I didn't post here.  I felt like what I had to say wasn't ...

I don't even know where to begin today.  My life is so much different than it had ever been in any of my previous posts.  In part because the whole world is in crisis mode right now, and in part because my whole world changed but it was given back too.  Let me explain... Way back in July of 2017 I was cheating on my husband and he got drunk and kicked me out *rightly so I absolutely think he should have*.  I moved in with that man and proceeded to have the strangest 2 years of my life until he up and left with almost no warning on May 31 2019 and I had no choice but to be homeless or move back in with my still legal husband and kids and my adult daughter and her kids.  So guess where I live now?  With my legal husband and my kids and my adult daughter, her fiance and her kids. I say my legal husband because we didn't get back together when I moved back in, we just are best friends now.  And I can honestly say I will be extremely jealous when he finds...