Saturday, May 12, 2012

You bet your ass I'm mom enough...

The Time cover is all over the net lately.  I was really inspired by the whole thing.  WTF though with the "are you mom enough" shit?  I've had 4 kids, 3 of which I was able to breastfeed and the one I couldn't I pumped for 4 months until I went back to work and my boobs couldn't keep up.  My oldest, I had zero support, and when I was constantly being told I was starving her to death, I caved and switched to formula.  But that was after 5 months of nothing but boobs.  So anyway, at some point today I WILL be taking a picture like that cover, and I will be posting it for all to see.

***Edit to add this pic, this is the closest thing I've gotten so far and it's really not very close, but funny none the less***

I really enjoy the fact that I can nurse my babies.  When my oldest son was born, we'd had no idea he would have a cleft lip/palate.  It was such a shock and it spiraled me into a depression that I was not able to hold him and nurse him.  But I was mom enough to pump for him, then I was mom enough to realize he needed more.  Then, I was mom enough to give him formula so he didn't starve.  It irritates me that ANYONE would assume that a formula feeding mother ISN'T mom enough for anything!

I fully intended to nurse son #2 for as long as he wanted though, in an attempt to make up for what I had felt I'd slighted my oldest son.  Maxwell nursed until he was 21 months old, and only weaned because I was misguided in the thought that you cannot nurse when on beta blockers and ace inhibitors.  He was heartbroken, I was heartbroken, he didn't understand why he couldn't have his boobies anymore.  At that point I was pretty sure I wasn't going to have any more babies ever so I really was crushed.

Having Memphis changed everything for me.  I turned into this weird lactivist that started posting breastfeeding pics on facebook.  I became less ashamed of my desire to nurse and nurse for years.  When I found out how sick I really was, the idea of giving it up crushed me again.  R was again helpless, he couldn't fix it for me.  As it turned out, Memphis was having no part of the damn formula anyway and after a couple days of donor milk totally refuses a bottle now.  He will drink from a cup though.

After the initial struggles with breastfeeding and now being at 10 months and he talks and lets me know he really wants his boobies, I don't foresee giving it up anytime soon.  When I showed R the Time cover, he was a tad grossed out because of the age of the child so I asked him what he'll do when Memphis is almost 4 if he's still nursing.  His response surprised me.  He told me that if I was comfortable with it, he didn't care as long as he got to share.

Pitting mother against mother is a ridiculous thing to do, but it served it's purpose I suppose.  EVERYONE seems to be talking about it, and I'm sure Time is flying off the stands, but it still pisses me off a bit.  So look forward to the picture, hopefully I'll get it done today and be able to add it in here.  Until next time...

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